The Target
A modeling agency, far away.
Response
No reply yet.
Dear _ _ _ _ Agency
I'm not going assault you with a cavalcade of headshots. No black-and-whites, no jaune, no costumes. I've included just one photograph. It's not even of me, just my beautiful dog, Trixie.
The signifigance of the inclusion of this photograph is to exemplify what a truly sweet and down-to-earth guy I am. I am further, trustworthy and would make a very good business partner for your firm.
Oh, but I seem to be getting a head of myself. What I put forward to you is a modest proposal. I propose that in our newly forged partnership, you provide me with the contact information for your most virile models and I will provide them with my genetic coding.
Now, don't mistake my intentions. I earnestly wish to enter into a financially rewarding relationship with you and your models. When our children are born, we will simply resell them as orphans.
Children bred of our lineage can very easily be called "consumer goods" in economic terms. Selling these consumer goods in a market for "inferior goods" is extremely advantageous! In no time, our upstart company would dominate the adoption market.
There's no need to worry about complications such as "Post Partum Depression," either. Such things are urban myths, made manifest by the stories of desparate women such as my daughter as they feign innocence in the inebriated grope-fest to which I bare witness every weekend on my closed-circuit camera. This belief is further corroborated by the cold manner in which my wife regards me when she thinks of the first time she noticed what she has since nightly referred to as, "that look in your eye."
I hand-picked your agency from literally dozens of other google hits. I believe I have made my case and demonstrated my qualifications as the best candidate for this venture. When you are ready to negotiate, please feel free to contact me, 24 hours a day, via my blog.
Sincerely,
Jack M.
